I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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