I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
