i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
