Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
