It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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