I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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