Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
