She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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