Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
