Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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