Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
