So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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