So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Apparently you make a good broom.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
