So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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