when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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