I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
