yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
