I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
