i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
