i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
