porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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