the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
