Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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