Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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