the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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