We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
