Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
