I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
