The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
