You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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