Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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