i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
