we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
