I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
