I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
