**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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