I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
