sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
