I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
