If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
