i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
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Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?