hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.