these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
