In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
