I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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