you didnt know i had herpes?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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