I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
