Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
