Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
MIDGETS
????
so much tequila, so little girl.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Verdict: uncircumcised.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
