Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
