When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
