I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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