dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
