i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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