He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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