ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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