Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
