My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
