So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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