Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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