going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
