Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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