that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Farmville is her only friend.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
